I Was Made For...

For the past week the non-profit organization To Write Love On Her Arms has been using their campaign for National Suicide Prevention Week with the phrase, "Stay. Find out what you were made for." I was so inspired by these words that my friends and I decided to use our arms as a canvas to share the things we were made for.

I Was Made For: Photography, Friendships, Joy, Love, Leading, Caring, Living, and a purpose. What were you made for? Join the conversation with the #IWasMadeFor and #NSPW17. Even though National Suicide Prevention Week is now over this does not mean the dicsusion needs to end here. For more information on this topic check out twloha.com.

STRENGTH & DIGNITY

“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future”

— Proverbs 31:25

What if STRENGTH & DIGNITY were two words we actually strived to be like. Not just in real life, but also on social media. I know speaking for myself I so often pretend I have it all together. I want to portray in life and online that I am strong, but if I am being honest I am really weak. It is important to remember we need other people to help us and most importantly we need Jesus.

This was evident to me a couple weeks ago when I went for a late night run. I was running, feeling strong, and suddenly I tripped and fell to the ground. Without hesitation I immediately got up. But for the rest of my run I was still haunted by that feeling of falling down. How could I feel so strong one second and the next second be on the ground with a scraped hand and knee? In the following days I had to explain to people how I got my bruises. I felt weak and defeated saying I got these cuts and bruises from merely tripping over an uneven sidewalk while running. This is just a simple example how we can feel so strong in life but one little trip can cause us to see that maybe we are more weak and delicate than we thought we were. It is a good reminder that the world's definition of STRENGTH isn't the STRENGTH we should strive for. STRENGTH can come from being weak. In the falling, I found motivation to get right back up and run harder. Falling does not make you weak it makes you strong.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in the weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

— 2 Corinthians 12:9

If you asked a room full of people what does STRENGTH mean to them each person would give an entirely different answer. To one person STRENGTH can mean holding back those tears when they desperately want to cry. To another STRENGTH means expressing their emotions and being vulnerable. Showing your weaknesses may just be where you find your STRENGTH. So why then can it be so difficult for me to share my weaknesses with my friends, family, and social media?

As much as I love social media I sometimes find myself questioning where my DIGNITY is coming from. I refuse to be molded by society into believing my DIGNITY comes from something other than God, for example how many followers or likes I have. It can be very difficult not to get caught in this toxic trap where the more followers and likes I get the more I start to feel worthy and of actual value. This is why somedays I need to step away from social media and get into God's word which shows me where my real worth comes from.

We need to remember most of the things we are looking at on social media are coming through a distorted lens. Which in return makes us question our own dignity. For example as I was editing these photos I noticed in some of them you can still see the bruise on my knee from when I fell down while I was running. My first thought was how do I alter the image so nobody can see my bruise? Instead of embracing my bruise I just wanted to hide it. Society pressures us to cover any sign of flaw, but I am thankful that my DIGNITY does not come from being perfect but in knowing who I am in Christ.

My STRENGTH & DIGNITY shirt is from Clothed in Strength. Make sure to visit their etsy shop here

Please Stay Alive

Around the holidays we tend to fixate our minds on all the little things and we get so stressed out, but do those little things really matter when tragedy comes? As Christmas is quickly approaching I wanted to remind you all that there are so many things in life that don't matter in the big picture. I hope this blog post can serve as a reminder to you that life is so very fragile. Is there someone you have been wanting to reconnect with? Are you avoiding something in your life right now? Is there any person in your life you need to forgive? Or maybe it is yourself that you need to forgive? Those were some of the thoughts that came into my mind on December 18th, 2015.

At the age of twenty-two I had never been in a car accident before. There were a couple of years when I was younger that I did not want to get my license due to the fear of getting into a car accident. I still got my license at sixteen, yet, the fear of getting into a car accident still lingered. On December 18th, 2015 one of my biggest fears happened - I got into a car accident.

It was a normal Friday afternoon and my mom and I were on our way to go Christmas shopping. We were listening to Ben Rector and thinking about all the Christmas gifts we needed to buy. I was wearing my To Write Love On Her Arms shirt, with small words printed on it saying, "Please Stay Alive." I thought nothing about those words when I put the shirt on that morning, but little did I know those three words would hold great significance and meaning in my life on that very afternoon.

As we were driving, a car coming from the opposite direction, turned right in front of us. I slammed on my brakes as hard as I could. At that moment I knew there was no way I could stop in time. I remember the loud screeching sound of my brakes and the smell of my airbag as it inflated in front of me. One moment I was listening to Ben Rector in the car on my way to go Christmas shopping, then suddenly none of that seemed to matter. Instead I began to think about all the people in my life that have come and gone. I wanted to hug everyone. The lyrics of Ben Rector's song, Live Like The World Is Going To End described exactly how I felt.

One thing that stood out to me that day was the kindness of so many strangers around me. Some gave us water while others called the police. Another stranger chased down the car that hit me and got his license plate number for the police. What a blessing it was to have so many kind strangers help me. Witnessing such kind acts inspired me to want to do the same for others.

Several months later there was a car accident right outside my neighborhood. I immediately pulled over and asked if they were ok. I stayed around and waited with them until their family and the ambulance came. At times I felt out of place and awkward, wondering if I should even be there. But I am glad I got out and was there for them, even if it was in silence most of the time. As I was standing there with them I remember the boy said something to me very similar to what I told my mom after my car accident. "I don't know how I will ever be able to drive again or if I even want to." I remember in that moment thinking to myself, "Wow! God really had a reason for me being in that car accident even if it meant helping other people."

So a year later here I am still questioning why God did this to me. I keep replaying it over and over again in my head. I wish I slammed on my brakes harder, I wish I went a different route, I wish I was driving slower, I wish I could have protected my mom from getting hurt, I wish I was driving a different car with better brakes. I can question it all I want, but that won't change anything. The amount of physical pain my mom received and the mental and emotional pain it both caused us was something I wish never happened. How do you move on with your life once tragedy comes? How can you go back to your normal life and pretend everything is fine when you are an emotional mess. I saw my life flash before my eyes and I now I have to go back to living my life like this? How do I do that?

I know my car accident happened for a reason and I may never know what that reason was but I can use this tragedy to show empathy, grace, love, and help towards others in similar positions. Before the car accident if you asked me if I was a Christian I would have said yes, but I feel like now more than ever I don't just want to say I'm a Christian I want to live it. I want to grow in my faith more than before.

Last year there were a lot of things that I was avoiding in my life due to fear. Now here I was facing one of my biggest fears which was getting into a car accident. I am relieved and happy to say that many of the things that I avoided in life last year I am now doing. Don't get me wrong though I am still a work in progress and still have a lot of fears and issues that I am dealing with. But it is a process.

Hopefully we can all learn things from my car accident. Please, Drive more carefully and be more cautious. Even though the car accident wasn't my fault it has made me more aware and more cautious than I was before. Second of all, remember to slow your life down every once in awhile. Embrace the people God has put in your life. Be in the moment and look them in the eyes when they are taking to you. Thirdly, if you have anything in your life holding you back remember that life is far too short to have things get in the way of your dreams. Lastly, please stay alive. There was a reason I survived that car accident. God has a purpose for my life as he does for yours. The world would not be the same without you here. So, please stay alive!

“When tragedy comes, may you wear hope well. May you always keep the fight alive in your hands.”

— d. antoinette foy

Fear

Why are some people more fearful than others? Am I letting my fears control my life? Where did these fears come from? Will my fears ever go away? These are a few of the questions I ask myself on a daily basis.

What questions come to your mind when you see the word fear? Only four letters spell out the word fear, yet the word itself terrifies me. Fear comes in a lot of different forms: fear of trying new clothing, fear of meeting new people, fear of being judged, fear of not being good enough, fear of not being loved, fear of the unknown. The list is endless.

If you asked my mom what I was like growing up she would probably use the word shy. But not only was I a shy child I was also a very fearful child. When I was six years old I watched all my siblings play soccer while I was on the sidelines. It's not that I didn't want to play soccer but that there was one thing that was holding me back. That one thing that was holding me back was fear; the fear of not wanting people to stare at me when I played soccer. Thankfully, my fear did not last very long and when I was seven years old I began to play soccer. But this is just one example of one of my childhood fears.

Now here I am as an adult staring back at that fearful child. I wish I could say that I used to be fearful, but sadly, I still am that fearful child. I could make a list to you about all the things my fears have kept me from doing and I am sure you could too. The list goes from jobs, to making new friends, to even important life events. I long for the day that I can trust in God, instead of letting my fears control my life.

So how do we not let ourselves be controlled by our fears? Although I am still learning I know it starts with being rooted in God's truth. Fear is such a common struggle that even God tells us not to be fearful 365 times in the Bible. One of my favorite Bible verses that mentions fear is Isaiah 41:10, "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

I am now learning to accept the fact that some of my fears will never go away. It has taken me some time to realize that just because I am feeling fearful does not mean I should run away. I am tired of avoiding my fears and I need to just face them head on. This is my goal for the next year. I hope to constantly be challenged by my fears, remembering to trust in God, knowing that he is in control. At the end of my life I want to be able to look back and say I lived a life of faith and not fear.

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.”

— John 14:27

Photos taken by Isabella Lasso